What I think about during Open Water Swim Practice...

*standing on the shore*

Ok. Here we are. I can do this. I wonder if it's cold. Doesn't matter. I drove 45 minutes to get here. I'm going in.

*begin to walk into the water*

It's not bad! Definitely could be worse. SLIMY THING! GAAAH. Oh, chill out, Jenn. It's just a little lakeweed.

*water reaches small of back*

WOO! that's chilly.  No turning back now. Gotta just dive in. Get wet. Don't wanna. Too bad. Why torture yourself? The longer you wait, the longer this is going to take. Ok. Gonna do it. Deep breaths. Going... NOW!

ARMPITS! CAN'T BREATHE! PANICKING! *frantic breast stroke* Gotta put face in. I don't wanna. Gotta. No. Ok. Why am I arguing with myself??? ok. Just have to stroke. CAN'T BREATHE!!! Can't breathe!! Can't breathe! Can't... Wait. ok. It's not so bad anymore. There. I knew you could do it! Just have to get in. Yeah. This isn't too bad. Just focus on not dying. Wow, this water is deep. I bet something huge lives in here... like that giant catfish from the Simpsons. What was his name? I'll have to google it later. (General Sherman!) Or the Loch Ness Monster. What if I see it!? Maybe I should close my eyes. But then I wouldn't see it coming! Maybe I should keep my eyes open. WHERE'DTHOSEBUBBLESCOMEFROMOMG!? Were they mine or something else's? General Sherman? Is that you? Better to have eyes closed. At least I won't know Jaws is about to rip my face off. But I'm in a lake. There are no sharks in here. Just crazy giant catfish that could swallow a row boat whole. Can't breathe.

Stop it. You're freaking yourself out. If anything lives in here, it's way down at the bottom and it's not interested in you. Just focus on your stroke. Long and lean. Gliiiiide. Breeeeeathe. Wow! The water's so clear I can see my hands perfectly! The sun looks so pretty shining down through the water. I wonder how far down I can see! Wow this water is REALLY clear. I can't see ANYTHING but my hands. How deep IS this lake?? How big could that catfish be? What if he's hungry?? Can't breathe! STOP IT! FOCUS ON YOUR STROKE!

Okokok. Chilling out. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, lalala... No. Really. This water is so clear and pretty. This is so relaxi-AH! WEEDS! I hope that was a weed. What if it was a water snake?! Or an EEL? ICK! No. It was just a weed. Stop. Get back to focusing on that stroke. Gliiiiide, lift, pull, drive with the hips... this really is relaxing when I stop freaking myself out. Ahhh... shift, glide, pull... Was that a fish? Omg! It's a whole school of them! See what you can appreciate when you just relax and enjoy the experience? Present time consciousness. That's what it's all about. So neat. Hi, little fishies... thanks for sharing your lake with me... OMG WHAT STARTLED THEM?! GENERAL SHERMAN IS THAT YOU? AHHHHH! Calm down. General Sherman is not interested in you. They were probably just startled by YOU.

OMG. To the fish, *I* am the Swamp Monster. Mind. Blown.

Halfway done.

And stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe... stroke, stroke, stroke, breeeathe. I smell fish. What if I touch a dead fish? What if I grab it when I stroke? *sites for dead fish* Ok. Maybe there's no dead fish. Maybe it's on the shore. OMG DID I JUST TOUCH IT??? Just swim. Swim faster. Get away from it. BLLLLAAAAAGGGHHHH.

Almost at the turn around! this isn't so bad! What a pretty day. The water is so refreshing. I could do this all day. And look at that. I'm almost done. Remember when one lap of the pool seemed impossible without stopping? You've come a long way, kid. Stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe... long, lean... I'm a torpedo, gliding through the water. Look how fast everything is gliding by.

AH! GIANT BUBBLE! That couldn't have been mine! No, Jenn. It's yours. You just pulled it into the water with your stroke.

Relax. Elbow up. Long and lean. Glide. Breathe. I can see the bottom. Almost there.

Can I stand yet? No standing until your hands drag the bottom. Ew....lakeweed... *stands* WhoooAoooo...dizzy.

But I made it! YAY! That felt sooo good!

Can't wait to do it again!

And in case that's too much reading for you, here's an infographic courtesy of Brian Barnes of the Pathetic Triathletes Group that proves that I am not the only neurotic open water swimmer in the universe. Glad to know I'm not alone.